I'm Back!

Hey people! Sorry, I have been way behind on everything lately..not that many people read this anyway. We have been doing TurboFire, today unfortunately I didn't get to it, I felt so busy. I feel like I have a day left when I work the morning shift, so much better! Unfortunately, that doesn't happen for me often, but that's okay, too. I've learned complaining really doesn't get you anywhere, especially when it's not my place to complain to someone about it. I am just happy that I've got a job that pays me. I feel blessed that I can be a mommy and work, while contributing.

I feel like I am losing weight like crazy, but I still have a long ways to go so I am trying not to get too confident about it. My clothes are definitely fitting me differently, but I also think that I should be losing weight faster with how big I actually am. It's time to really dig in and commit to my health!!! Paleo starts Thursday if anyone wants to join me, by the way. I realize that I have to do this if I want to make a huge difference in my life I have to take the first steps. It's time.

So I was getting extremely frustrated with my computer, with it never working or anything. I called HP and it was a huge ordeal they weren't even going to TRY to fix it, 200-300 dollars blah FREAKING blah!, then I lost the call. UGH I call back another ten minutes of waiting, I get a man (the one time I get excited when a man answers the phone lol) and he walks me through the entire thing. POOF, it's working again!!!

And of course! The precious arrival of Miss Sophia Isabella Unthank. I am so unbelievably happy for her great parents, it's crazy. It feels like yesterday, Brittney was calling me to tell me she was pregnant, we could do nothing but laugh and now she's here. She is so beautiful, so tiny, so perfect. I got the chance to spend some more time with them today, and she has me wrapped around her tiny baby finger already! The most precious baby since Aubree. She looks so much like her daddy and makes faces like her mommy. It took everything in me not to sob, that's uncool(haha). Anyways, I love that little girl already :)

..a few more issues I really should just blurt out, buuuut I know how people are.. for now I'll keep that part of my life quiet...

23Nov2011

Today I was a bit emotional, like I predicted but nothing too terribly awful. At work, I would just turn my head to cry or go into the bathroom, mostly have the smile painted on my face. I think that I did well today, work was pretty busy tonight, but nothing we couldn't handle. It gets so frustrating when things are running smoothly and all of a sudden people are having issues with their insurances, or some other issues and things get all messed up and jammed.  I get along with mostly everyone at work, although everyone has their moments. Sometimes I wish the drama would just be done and over with. It's so frustrating to see all of the disrespect in the place. No one deserves it, let alone who gets it the most in that pharmacy(in my opinion)! Today was good one for weight loss, it was a rest day but I managed to get in a little bit of a work out. :)

22nov2011

Okay day two of this little experiment of mine. I am not exactly sure how long I would lol to do this, but I will take it one day at a time and we'll see how it goes. I will attempt to be completely honest in whatever I am feeling. Today was also day two of the Turbofire challenge. I really enjoying it, even though I am having a hard time keeping up with Chalene. I know this time will be different I am too motivated and too damn stubborn to fail. I am already seeing results since starting Shakeology. Emotionally I am a basket care, but I am at least trying to better myself and keep a smile on my face. Tomorrow I'm sure will be a rough day for me. It is the five year anniversary of my grandpa's death. He was my absolute favorite person and I miss him every single day. Its hard for me to deal especially when I am so far away from family. I feel like sometimes I go at it alone, but that's a whole other story..

Day 1

Today I started TurboFire! It felt great (although I got super lost). I love that I have people I can count on to keep me motivated and after my goal. Turbo Fire is a great program, from day one I absolutely love it and hopefully by the end of it and I will be much, much closer to my weight loss goal, which right now is 50 more pounds, yes I said "fifty". I will not stop until I get what I want, I'm stubborn and this is what I really want!

Spiritually, today was not the best for me, I felt discouraged and unhappy for whatever reason. I am hoping that as I keep going with the journal and the program I will start to be in a better mood as well. It is getting quite close to Thanksgiving and I am starting to worry if I will be able to control myself and not just have a free-for-all. Let's hope I can see that the food I think I want to put into my body, does not do good things for me. My body reacts to unhealthy food poorly, which I guess is a good thing, but I should not even have to worry. I should just stay away from these foods altogether.

A New Start

Today was a rough one for me... I struggled with my body image once again. I've decided that if I am ever going to look better, I need to feel better! I have been drinking my shakeology daily, however I am not committed to working out as much as I really should. I do work out, don't get me wrong but it's not enough. Shelby and I have decided to finally commit to a program, Turbo Fire! It is so time for that and I am ready. I've also decide to put forth a challenge, to eat a paleo diet for at least 30 days straight. If I can go further, so be it. I want to change my life, and the only possible way to do that is to first, make the impossible change.

I've decided to start writing a journal again to show myself the changes I will be making. I will mostly be rambling about how I feel and what I had accomplished on that particular day. It won't be structured and it won't be written for you, this is for me. I do invite you to join, no...I dare you. I cannot worry about what you may think or feel about this, I can only think that it is a change. Tomorrow, starts a new day, a new chapter. Welcome, it's going to be a bumpy ride :)

Worthless

Last night was a rough night for me. I've been so happy with the way I have been living my life, however there are those who disagree. There are few people who I truly look up to, those people disagree with what I am doing with my life (I will not say names). They believe that I have ruined my life by getting married this young and now having a baby. Obviously my goal after I graduated wasn't to be a wife and mother, but I am. I wish I would've gone to school and started my dream, but I wouldn't change anything about my life. Just because I have put school on hold does not mean I won't ever go to school. My dream is to be independent, I want to have my degree and my own career. I only have done my plan in a reverse order, I still plan on doing so much with my life.

I was hurt when those people who I looked up to no longer wished to speak to me. They thought that because of what I've decided to do is to not start school right away they do not want to be apart of that. What they do not know is that they are the ones that taught me to never let anything bring me down nor get in my way. I see the baby as a blessing and just a detour in my plan. It was meant to happen, so it did. They taught me to strive for what I want in life when things do not turn out the way I've wished.

I was so upset last night to finally sit down and realize I've let them down, I felt worthless. Luckily I have a supportive husband who stayed up with for the time that I had a break down (2 hrs). I am lucky to have him in my life to help me when those who are supposed to be there are not.

Now, I am upset again so I am cutting this short!

No. 1

Alright so I hear so much about blogging and how it can make a person feel so much better when they write out their frustrations. I suppose I am a sucker for trying anything that helps. I guess this is my first blog, and I know my writing is not perfect so for those who decide to spend their time reading this please do not mention how terrible I can be. Thanks.

Alright, so I am a Navy Wife. Should I just end there? I am pretty sure for those who are wives/husbands to the military understand where I am coming from. Looking back, I never thought I would be one of those woman who were dubbed a military wife. I guess anything can happen to anyone right? My dream was not to be a Navy wife, however I am happy as a clam now that I am.

I guess to let you in with who I am, I should tell a tale of my life. I am eighteen years old, and have graduated from high school. What a great accomplishment, yeah right. I was intending on going to LeMoyne College this passed fall, however I felt I had something else worth fighting for. I married my best friend May 24, 2009 and very proud of that. I know that when most people look at our ages they see numbers as well as what we may or may not accomplish in our lives. I am completely happy with my decision to follow my husband(who is in the U.S. Navy) to Pensacola, Fl. I know that putting school on hold was not what my family wanted for me, but there is always time to go back to school. My father is a completely perfect example of that. So anyway, I grew up in a small town with big dreams (just because I do not have the same dreams, does not mean I don't have dreams). I threw my plans out the window when I fell in love, and sometimes people get hurt by that, but I feel like I have grown up so much since I started my journey. My husband and I are now expecting our first baby in August. I know what you're thinking, complete cliche, but I am terribly determined to prove everyone wrong. My plans for school have been set on a back burner, but only to stand by my husband as he begins his life with the Navy. I still want to go to school and I still want to be successful in my life.....

side note:

Okay, now I said I want to be successful in life, however successful is different to everyone. To me, success is being happy with the life that you led. I am pretty sure that as of right now, I am pretty successful, I suppose education is also a part of success. Education is key in life, however so is experience. I hope to have both before I leave this world, but one can only hope.

...Back to my life, I happen to have a family full of love and support. Now, I say family let me be clear, this includes my blood, my in-laws, and my wonderful friends(who have actually stuck with). I guess growing up, I wasn't the happiest kid, but I know that the past happened for a reason, and hey look at me now! I am a married woman, and soon-to-be mother. My mom and dad aren't perfect, but I love them for who they are. My mom, big hearted and loving, we really haven't gotten along much, but since I've been my own person we talk so much more. She has become a totally different person. My father, a recovering alcoholic and a college student. Yeah, we talk like women. They made me who I am today. I have what I call a "sister" who is actually my cousin, Amanda. We are not as close as we used to be, but I know that we will always have a strong bond. I have two great big "brothers" who are also my cousins, Jeremy and Joshua(aka Chub) Chub has a wonderful daughter who is the most amazing little girl I have ever met, Mckenna Rose. My grandmother, she's like the Godfather, the top boss of the whole family, gotta love her! Then there is my husband's family. I have loved them since the first time we met. They supported me and helped me through some rough patches in my life and I will always be grateful to them. Murm, full of love and laughter she is the heart of the family. Without her, I would be in a bad place in life. Mr. Bob, always making the family laugh, however he can also be very serious and a great person to talk to. Crystal, my sistaaaa for life, haha. We have not always gotten along, but we are working a relationship worth having. She has been there in my time of need, and about to give birth to what will be my beautiful niece.

There are two people that are no longer in my life, however have touched me in such a way that I will never forget them. Both, happen to be my grandfather. Charles Edward Hooge and Arthur William Boscoe. Both have been an inspiration in my life and have been a part of me, they will always be a part of me. I just want to be sure that those two people were mentioned, because they are me...

Okay, done with all of that mushy stuff..haha for now. I think that is enough for my first blog. Thanks...

B