30 November 2011

Today was a good day, not exactly sure why I was just in a great mood! A very very very good friend of ours will be here tomorrow afternoon and I am so extremely excited for myself, but mostly for my husband. They have been friends forever and haven't gotten to see each other in a long while. It is so nice to be able to see a familiar from back home.

Tomorrow also starts our Paleo Challenge, not many people have committed, however at this point I can only focus on myself and my weight loss goals. I am feeling so much better, and I feel like I look better, too!

This month is Christmas, and I am so excited. We are in our new house and all I can think is that it will be absolutely perfect! Yes, I will have my down days, but doesn't everyone? At least I do not complain every single day about the same exact thing. I hear some people complain and complain about the same thing over and over! It is so frustrating to see how miserable people are and they do not do ANYTHING to fix it! To those people I say, live life! Be grateful for what you have, don't be upset for the things you don't have.

Work was pretty slow tonight, but I actually had a nice conversation with the pharmacist working, it's nice to talk to someone and they talk back.(haha) Tomorrow( or I should say today) I have an appointment at 0745 and then another at 1330. I am supposed to be to work at 1400 so hopefully I won't be late to work. Tomorrow is also the first of the month so we should be busy or at least steady at work.

29Nov2011

TODAY HAS BEEN THE LONGEST DAY EVER!! My feet are killing me, my head is pounding, my eyes are strained(ugh)! I feel like people walk all over me and this is far as I get to stick up for myself, yes that's right not at all! It's not fair that I let people just step on me and crush, crush, CRUSH me! I hope at some point I can grow some metaphoric balls and open my mouth when someone puts me down or belittles me.

Work was absolutely crazy today, and although I didn't get the shift I really wanted, I got in a few more hours I wouldn't have otherwise(which means more money!! $$$) I really do not want to complain here, I love my customers, I like what I do, but some of the people I work with just don't try and it's super frustrating. I guess for me, if you have a job it doesn't matter what it is, it's your job, just freaking do it. Just work! It makes sense to me to go to work and WORK, maybe it doesn't make sense to anyone else.

My mind is all over the place right now, I am not sure where my head is at really, but I hope at some point I can focus on one thing and COMPLETE something for just ONCE! I thought that having everything I wanted would make me the happiest girl in the world, and it does, but I feel like there is still something missing. I guess all the fighting between Andrew and I. I think that we just grew up a little too quickly, but we do have a great life. I realized today that the fighting needs to quit, so Andrew and I are going on a DATE an actual date. I think it has to be all of the time we are not spending with each other. We both get frustrated that we cannot spend time together and inevitably take it out on each other. This is the first week in a long while that Andrew has been on days again. We get to spend a little more time together now, but absolutely no alone time. I'm hoping this date night will be what we really needed to get back where we used to be.

Hmm, I think I've done exactly what I didn't want this for, but it works and even though I can't say everything I am feeling I said enough. I guess it would be inappropriate to have EVERYTHING on here for the world to see, but I guess if you want to know that badly you'd ask. ;)

I'm Back!

Hey people! Sorry, I have been way behind on everything lately..not that many people read this anyway. We have been doing TurboFire, today unfortunately I didn't get to it, I felt so busy. I feel like I have a day left when I work the morning shift, so much better! Unfortunately, that doesn't happen for me often, but that's okay, too. I've learned complaining really doesn't get you anywhere, especially when it's not my place to complain to someone about it. I am just happy that I've got a job that pays me. I feel blessed that I can be a mommy and work, while contributing.

I feel like I am losing weight like crazy, but I still have a long ways to go so I am trying not to get too confident about it. My clothes are definitely fitting me differently, but I also think that I should be losing weight faster with how big I actually am. It's time to really dig in and commit to my health!!! Paleo starts Thursday if anyone wants to join me, by the way. I realize that I have to do this if I want to make a huge difference in my life I have to take the first steps. It's time.

So I was getting extremely frustrated with my computer, with it never working or anything. I called HP and it was a huge ordeal they weren't even going to TRY to fix it, 200-300 dollars blah FREAKING blah!, then I lost the call. UGH I call back another ten minutes of waiting, I get a man (the one time I get excited when a man answers the phone lol) and he walks me through the entire thing. POOF, it's working again!!!

And of course! The precious arrival of Miss Sophia Isabella Unthank. I am so unbelievably happy for her great parents, it's crazy. It feels like yesterday, Brittney was calling me to tell me she was pregnant, we could do nothing but laugh and now she's here. She is so beautiful, so tiny, so perfect. I got the chance to spend some more time with them today, and she has me wrapped around her tiny baby finger already! The most precious baby since Aubree. She looks so much like her daddy and makes faces like her mommy. It took everything in me not to sob, that's uncool(haha). Anyways, I love that little girl already :)

..a few more issues I really should just blurt out, buuuut I know how people are.. for now I'll keep that part of my life quiet...

23Nov2011

Today I was a bit emotional, like I predicted but nothing too terribly awful. At work, I would just turn my head to cry or go into the bathroom, mostly have the smile painted on my face. I think that I did well today, work was pretty busy tonight, but nothing we couldn't handle. It gets so frustrating when things are running smoothly and all of a sudden people are having issues with their insurances, or some other issues and things get all messed up and jammed.  I get along with mostly everyone at work, although everyone has their moments. Sometimes I wish the drama would just be done and over with. It's so frustrating to see all of the disrespect in the place. No one deserves it, let alone who gets it the most in that pharmacy(in my opinion)! Today was good one for weight loss, it was a rest day but I managed to get in a little bit of a work out. :)

22nov2011

Okay day two of this little experiment of mine. I am not exactly sure how long I would lol to do this, but I will take it one day at a time and we'll see how it goes. I will attempt to be completely honest in whatever I am feeling. Today was also day two of the Turbofire challenge. I really enjoying it, even though I am having a hard time keeping up with Chalene. I know this time will be different I am too motivated and too damn stubborn to fail. I am already seeing results since starting Shakeology. Emotionally I am a basket care, but I am at least trying to better myself and keep a smile on my face. Tomorrow I'm sure will be a rough day for me. It is the five year anniversary of my grandpa's death. He was my absolute favorite person and I miss him every single day. Its hard for me to deal especially when I am so far away from family. I feel like sometimes I go at it alone, but that's a whole other story..

Day 1

Today I started TurboFire! It felt great (although I got super lost). I love that I have people I can count on to keep me motivated and after my goal. Turbo Fire is a great program, from day one I absolutely love it and hopefully by the end of it and I will be much, much closer to my weight loss goal, which right now is 50 more pounds, yes I said "fifty". I will not stop until I get what I want, I'm stubborn and this is what I really want!

Spiritually, today was not the best for me, I felt discouraged and unhappy for whatever reason. I am hoping that as I keep going with the journal and the program I will start to be in a better mood as well. It is getting quite close to Thanksgiving and I am starting to worry if I will be able to control myself and not just have a free-for-all. Let's hope I can see that the food I think I want to put into my body, does not do good things for me. My body reacts to unhealthy food poorly, which I guess is a good thing, but I should not even have to worry. I should just stay away from these foods altogether.

A New Start

Today was a rough one for me... I struggled with my body image once again. I've decided that if I am ever going to look better, I need to feel better! I have been drinking my shakeology daily, however I am not committed to working out as much as I really should. I do work out, don't get me wrong but it's not enough. Shelby and I have decided to finally commit to a program, Turbo Fire! It is so time for that and I am ready. I've also decide to put forth a challenge, to eat a paleo diet for at least 30 days straight. If I can go further, so be it. I want to change my life, and the only possible way to do that is to first, make the impossible change.

I've decided to start writing a journal again to show myself the changes I will be making. I will mostly be rambling about how I feel and what I had accomplished on that particular day. It won't be structured and it won't be written for you, this is for me. I do invite you to join, no...I dare you. I cannot worry about what you may think or feel about this, I can only think that it is a change. Tomorrow, starts a new day, a new chapter. Welcome, it's going to be a bumpy ride :)